Riding on the storm
With approximately 45 days left, I can’t wait for this period of my life to end. My military term didn’t teach me much. It confirmed what others say, war is not a solution. You can see the lack of common sense even by playing around war, without never really going to one, but hey there’s no way to bypass this time-losing estate.
I’m loosing, oh boy I think I’ve already lost it some time back, the interest in introductions and even the opposite sex. I’m just too bored to do whatever, I just wanna have fun and even this is turning hard lately. I feel like I’m loosing time in every way, professional and personal. Nothing feels right. Is this a complete feeling of emptiness or I’m just ungrateful? A spoiled little guy! Hah, who can tell?
I had travel plans after the end of my military term, which is 07 May 2008, but I’m seriously thinking not to go nohere. I was about to go to Italy, visit my college mates in Milan, Rome and Naples first and then getting ten days of rest in my parents in Sicily. On the other hand I will never get mentally rest unless I take over my day-to-day job completely. This takes time and I feel like I’ve lost already too much. I have other things to do, like getting an English degree and finishing the ECDL examinations, which is completely Microsoft driven shit-storm, especially for my level it’s completely useless, but since I joined I’ll get the degree.
It’s like riding on the storm, what the fuck does it take in order to be smooth? I never wanted a placable course of life. But what tempers you, are your inner feelings. It takes clear thought and strength to follow your dreams and risk the comfort of an easy, compromised life. But some things come from inside. It’s like a childhood dream that takes something more to follow it, because you never thought what you will lose by following it, only what you’re gonna gain. Still, feels like destiny.
Maybe I’m doing a big deal of what something that’s not. Maybe I just have too much to think, guarding on an average of six hours per day, gives you much time to think…